sanfran: rachelayne: sanfran: why does all the good stuff in life cost so much I didn’t know happiness and love had a price calm down gandhi
imma-gay-panda: tyleroakley: hoelita: female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away I think I might be a female sloth. Yup. That’s my girlfriend.
chessieness: Theres so many cuties on here that I’ll never get to hang out with and that just makes me properly sad I love you all so muchhhhhh
christoph-waltzed: I remember in year 2 there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long [imagine Rapunzel basically] and she always complained about it but her mum wouldn’t let her get it cut So one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted it cut to. She came in the next day with her hair cut how she...
How to look good naked: 1) get naked 2) say “damn I look good”
officialdogblog: if i go to hell i’m gonna torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or if it’s just me
Me: "Ugh, I'm still not over so-and-so. I'm just gonna go on Tumblr."
*goes on tumblr*
*sees cute romantic pictures of other couples*
*sees gooey sappy quotes about love*
*sees people in same boat wallowing*
Me: "How the fuck could I have ever thought this would be a good idea."
beccabae: forestferncreations: -mayday: felicefawn: Being on Tumblr all the time gives me such a deluded view of the world. I start believing that everyone is pro-choice, open-minded, have moral compass, care about animals, care about sexism, racism, body shaming, etc, but then I walk out my front door and realise that everyone is still just as moronic as they were two years ago. ...
fwips: sasstielspn: fwips: ”sending hate mail to ppl on the internet is like nailing jello to a tree” -Benjamin Franklin Benjamin Franklin died in 1790 are u calling me a liar
please reblog this if it is okay to anonymously...
tapdancers: if i was rich i wouldnt even buy cool cars and houses i’d just buy loads of cool shit off of etsy
ussawesome: when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man
I love you and it’s getting worse.– Joseph Morris (via pale-afternoon)
I have more conversations in my head than in real life
xoxovanessadirienzo: DISNEY CHANNEL SHOULD HAVE A THROWBACK THURSDAY AND EVERY THURSDAY THEY WOULD PLAY ALL THE OLD DISNEY SHOWS AND OMG HOW AMAZING WOULD THAT BE
I don’t know why I have to be so scared. I don’t know why I have to push you away. I don’t know why I’m not just letting myself be happy. I don’t know why I just won’t let myself fall for you..
seababe: You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing
kankrivantas: do you ever think really awful thoughts and suddenly become aware that you are not a good person
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Man: Fuck you, slut.
radstunts: scraggay: therealhamster: scraggay: handjobs are fuckin lame i can do that myself you can scratch your own damn back but that doesnt mean it feels the same yo i honestly tried to think of a witty response but i cannot damn that is a very valid point this is the most civil ending to an argument i have ever witnessed on the internet